Some bloke has been making love to the fag machine for about two hours now. He writhes up and down it, sweaty, eyeballs a-go-go, jaw dislodged, when a techni-coloured flurry of facepainted Klaxons disciples rushing straight into the mosh suddenly inspires him to try to get in on the action. A leg extends, his neck arches... it's all too much. The shiny holy cigarette dispenser just feels so good, and besides, the boys on stage aren't being shy as they belt out their anthems.

Chaotic live shows, an almost embarrassingly dedicated following, an accidental media cream-fest sparked off by some casual 'new rave' comment - and all without even unleashing their debut LP. We shared a late morning gin and juice with James, Jamie and Simon to be taken on a whistlestop tour of their first album, 'Myths Of The Near Future.' Seatbelts, please!

OK BOYS, FIRST UP CAN YOU GIVE US THE LOW-DOWN ON 'TWO RECEIVERS'?
James: It’s a space ballad. I think of crystals when I hear that song!
Jamie: It’s like a future police report!
Simon: I think it’s very aquatic as well!
Jamie: It's quite an early one isn’t it? I think it’s one of my favourites, you know. It's a future news report about goings on and, er, neglect.

IT'S A NICE OPENER, QUITE UNEXPECTED...
James: Yes, you expect a big bang. I love it, it eases the way in, it's like thunder coming towards you!

NEXT IT’S 'ATLANTIS TO INTERZONE'...
Jamie: Never heard it. (Ma ma ma...starts making a quacking, bleeping noise like the song)...It’s mental, about things that don’t exist!
Simon: It's the one I choose to skip the most when I hear the record...

James: Me too.
Jamie: Yeah me too. Heard it so many times.

'GOLDEN SKANS'? WHAT IS A SKAN?
Jamie: It's a light. It’s a song about bringing together a euphoria in different places, hands, lights, streams and skans...

Simon: It's the most pop thing we've ever written. Why is that?

James: Because it's got a big woo woo part in it. It's happy and sad at the same.

Jamie: It’s euphoric pop with a twist of melancholy.
James: Not a lot of it, just a little bit. It's got a tail that lashes about. It's a fish!

'TOTEM ON THE TIMELINE'...
Simon: Inspired by our 17 year-old trips to Magaluf
Jamie: It's quite fun to be able to sing Mother Teresa and Princess Diana in the same sentence.

WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO SUMMON THESE FIGURES TO THE RECORD?
James: Jamie got a really nice Princess Diana key ring. Touching.

HOW ABOUT PLAYING AT A ROYAL EVENT?
James: No one's asked yet. The Princes said that on the 10th anniversary of their mother’s death, the best present would be to put on a concert.
Simon: She died in 1998. My granddad died then.
James: Oh. But anyway, they thought the best present was to have Elton John, all the players bar us! Plan B is doing it as well. (All three are laughing).

COOL. HOW ABOUT 'ISLE OF HER'?
James: It's a...What is that?
Simon: I think the darkest song on the album. It’s my favourite track. Musically, it’s kind of the places where we were.
Jamie: I think musically, it’s the weirdest arrangement. Its not like a formulated song, its chorus has parts that change.
James: Short straw? Some psycho in face cream running around the streets...

'AS ABOVE SO BELOW'...
Jamie: It’s a song about relations. Equality. The positive and the negative interrelations between the two. Co-existence. Simon: A Brian Eno rip-off song.
James: It's the most song song that we’ve got.

'GRAVITY'S RAINBOW' - IT'S A THOMAS PYNCHON NOVEL ISN’T IT?
Jamie: Yeah. I read it in a call centre in a week.
James: It’s actually a song about premature ejaculation because the chorus goes 'Come with me, come with me,' and about future love so it’s the idea of singing about ejaculation, while the crowd joins in and then it becomes a big pop song!

'FORGOTTEN WORKS'?
Simon: The last track we recorded. I think it's a psyche song!
James: It's a song about the difficulties of being killed by tigers (laughs). Reeeeal psyche vibe!

'MAGICK'?
Jamie: It's about cultism and the bringing about of change by using rituals. The ritual is the music and we’re bringing about the change. From a band without a record deal to a band with one, by means of the darkest ways possible.
Simon: We actually had a couple of occultists at our show in York! I don't know but maybe there’s a lot of them round there. They probably wanted to see The Long Blondes or The View.

'IT'S NOT OVER YET'...
Simon: Probably one of the best songs ever written. Massive, massive pop song. It was on repeat on a school trip to Germany. There was a point when we were doing the album when we panicked about doing a fair enough version of it, and then we went to the pub and came back. Felt better.
Jamie: It’s all about sitting away from the edited sound really. Loss and hope. It's a big song about continuations.
James: A real sad happy song. Either way, it's not over YET!

AND THE LAST TRACK, 'FOUR HORSEMEN OF 2012'...
Jamie: It’s one of the earliest songs we've got...
James: Also it's good to end on a kind of raucous number.

Simon: We could have done it the other way round... We end our set like it!

SO, GENTLEMEN, IS THE APOCALYPSE NIGH?
James: It’s coming.
Jamie: We've got just under 6 years and two more albums. Yeah, easy!

ARE YOU HOPING TO SURPRISE PEOPLE WITH HOW THE TUNES AREN’T SIMPLY DANCEABLE, HOW THEY SHIFT IN MOOD?
Simon: It's something for your bedroom or a night out, we're working on both!

WHICH PEOPLE ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT WORKING WITH?
Jamie: Erol Alkan and James Ford. The remix we did with Erol was the best. Unfortunately we didn't end up using the tracks that we’d made for demos... It was when we signed our record deal, our concentration was all over the place. But he gave us so much and that remix really raised the bar. Erol is the perfect example that nice guys should do well. He's been so supportive since day one.

THE VIDEO FOR MAGICK IS LIKE A RADIOACTIVE 'EVIL DEAD' CROSSED WITH SOME MAD PRODUCTION OF 'KING LEAR'...
Jamie: Basically it's the visual genius of an up and coming UK director, Saam. We've worked with him loads now and he's does really well on a low budget! It's about evoking an unknown and it taking over us in a black hole in the unfortunate death... an unknown evil if you like.
James: The neon stuff coming out of our eyes is radioactive rage, a mixture of paint and water!
Jamie: It's the unknown isn't it?
James: We had a lot of fun watching Simon drown in a pool of green paint and freezing water.

ARE ANY OF THE SONGS ON THE ALBUM LOVE SONGS?
Jamie: They're all love songs. Strange, twisted melancholic love songs. Every single one of them,

I'm not unfulfilled just melancholic!

THERE'S A KIND OF BROODING ENERGY TO THE WHOLE ALBUM...
James: Yes, brooding! Brooding!
Simon: It’s like us brooding but when it comes out it gets to someone else and fulfils, becomes something else like a love record.

ANY COLLABORATIONS YOU FANCY DOING?
Simon: I think Joanna Newsome, Grace Jones...
Jamie: I'd like to make a record with the deceased Arthur Russell. For me that would be ideal.
James: TV On The Radio - they're lovely people! We had a massive collaboration the other night around Jamie’s house.
Simon: Oh, don't talk about that! Let’s not talk about that
James: It was disastrous. Basically, there were around ten well known artists, celebrities, artistes around his house making music, it was the worst thing you've ever heard. People with musical profiles losing it (laughs)... a bad idea!

IS LITERATURE A BIG INFLUENCE FOR YOUR LYRICS?
Jamie: Reading allows us distraction from everything that goes on in real time. Doors to other places that are like the start of songs...

DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH LANGUAGE WHEN YOU WRITE TUNES?
Jamie: Definitely. I like twisting language and we find words that are so interesting they’re the main point of contact... that’s a lot more meaningful!
James: We’ve made sure that we’ve written our lyrics down on the record so that you can digest them. I was listening to my friend's record the other day and when she pronounces her 'k's and her 't's, you can actually hear - and it makes it that much more sexy. On our record there’s lots of 's's. It’s really funny because in the mix they sound so harsh, like this sssssss snake record. So we went around taking them down basically. Every 's' on the record!

WHAT GETS YOU ON THE DANCEFLOOR?
James: I love Britney Spears ‘Toxic’!
Jamie: I just can’t stop listening to 'My Love' by Justin Timberlake. Biggest song of the year for me. I listened to it somewhere in the region of one hundred times in three days and it’s driven me slightly mental.

IS DANCE MUSIC DEAD?

Simon: No, dance music is taking a turn. It's on the turn, it’s catching the wind.
James: Breakbeat! Not Big Beat! It’s massive in London and on the bingo town circuit. Pure energy minus vocal.
Jamie: Someone needs to come through with a massive breakbeat tune and put over a cheesy vocal and maybe it'll be fine. It needs a vocal.

WHAT'S THE BEST PARTY YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN TO RECENTLY?
James: It was in France the other night when we turned up to DJ without any records. It was like the biggest indie disco I'd ever been to. Any song from anyone, Babyshambles, The Smiths... Just really indie! Grrrreat!

DO YOU THINK THAT THE POLICE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRASH PARTIES?
James: Well I think Sting's been doing a great job! (Laughs)
Simon: Yeah of course they should... it's disruption of the peace really isn't it?

DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS FOR ANYONE PUTTING ON ILLEGAL PARTIES?
Jamie: Don’t tell the police. Just keep it a bit hush hush... don't put it on myspace! And enjoy yourself!

IF YOU COULD ASK TONY BLAIR ONE QUESTION, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
James: What is it that makes you in love with the Queen? Does that affect our daily lives?
Jamie: What underwear does Cherie wear?
Simon: Does New Labour and New Rave have any correlation? (Laughter)
Jamie: I'd like to ask him what he does in his spare time.
James: He plays guitar! And listens to Klaxons!

DO ANY OF YOU HAVE GIRLFRIENDS?
James: We are all single. We had to split with our girlfriends so that we could commit to each other and swear a sacred vow to each other.
Simon: I’m having the most unsuccessful year with women!
Jamie: You have to make a sacrifice-ish!

AND WHY SHOULD PEOPLE BUY THE ALBUM?
James: Why not?
Simon: Because it's good. Because it’s better than everything else out there.
Jamie: If people are excited by pop music and change and are excited by new fresh things, they should buy it. And I don't think it'll be that expensive when it first comes out, like £9.99 or something, which isn’t too much.

IS THE ARTWORK ON THE ALBUM YOUR OWN CREATION?
Jamie: It's a nice special edition of our artwork that we designed ourselves.
James: I like for artwork to describe what's inside; it makes something worthwhile and our’s should fit in with everything we do...

BEST MAKE THAT YOUR MISSION STATEMENT THEN
James: Wow - that was fun! Well done! The best interview ever!

KLAXONS' 'MYTHS OF THE NEAR FUTURE' IS OUT NOW ON RINSE / POLYDOR

WORDS: LUCY WILSON

PHOTOGRAPHY: GRETA ILIEVA