SATURDAY 7 APRIL: Those guys at Issst have got it all. Secret locations. Top quality line-ups. Cool posters. Trendy following. Funcktion 1 sound system. Compilation CDs. The f**kers.

Following their horrendously successful New Years Eve party with Tiefschwartz and Klaxons, Bobby and Kevin are back to put on what’ll surely be one of the nights of the year. With the cross over between club and indie music still going strong, and half of Shoreditch dressing like they’re in a new rave band (surely one of the laziest names for a musical sub-genre for quite some time) - it's strike while the iron's hot time for Issst, and they seem to be doing this to devastating effect.

Headlining is the almighty Trevor Jackson, who will be bringing his trademark shades and a box full of recent productions and former Output glories. Supporting will be Phones, otherwise known as Paul Epworth, the man responsible for putting the dancefloor into debut albums by Bloc Party, The Futureheads and The Rakes. Expect a varied selection of filthy electro and indie-tinged loveliness to enthral us all. Fuckpony will be fucking a pony live on stage. Oh no, they'll be demonstrating their stripped-back techno appeal live on stage, sorry. Plus recent Herbal visitors Franz & Shape will be playing tracks from their 'Acceleration' LP. Oh, and of course Kevin Griffiths and Bobby M will be gracing the decks themselves. I’ll be standing at the back scowling and pretending not to be enjoying myself.