Ever noticed those people who walk along in front of you, blocking your path before suddenly stopping. Dead.
You end up having to stop. Dead. But you can’t guarantee that the person behind you will stop. Dead. So they ram into the back of you and tut and moan in their £5,000 suits; late for their f*cking dinner dates.
“WILL IT BE THE STEAK TARTARE OR THE ROAST PHEASANT!?”
And the person who caused this human traffic will be scratching their balls or rubbing their tits, before carrying on like nothing has happened.
Maybe they get a strange kick out of stopping for no reason; like those ASBO kids you see dropping bricks from foot bridges onto passing motorists.
The world is a rubbish tip. No wonder they call it a rat race.
Anyways, the show must go on. Dubbed ‘a 3000 capacity gem of the UK festival scene’ by The Guardian, Standon Calling returns to Hertfordshire from Friday 31st July – Sunday 2nd August.
The festival has just announced that in addition to the indie, rock and dance acts on offer, some of the world’s biggest and most influential jazz and afrobeat talent will also make the journey.
Son of afrobeat pioneer Fela Kuti, Femi Kuti (pictured) will be making a very rare and special appearance. Avant-Jazz, bebop and jazz greats The Arkestra will also be performing.
Now led by 85-year-old original band member Marshall Allen, The Arkestra are sure to pay homage to famous frontman Sun Ra, who passed away in ’93 and remains a true legend of the jazz scene.
Afro-beat infused, experimental jazz musician Ben Lamdin (aka Nostalgia 77), will also play an exclusive festival set with his 9-piece band, whilst Deathray Trebuchay will also make the trip.
Previous acts to be announced for the festival include Tony Christie, Eddy Temple Morris, Friendly Fires, Chrome Hoof, Chew Lips, Detroit Social Club, Ladytron, Son of Dave, Freeland and Dent May and His Magnificent Ukulele.
70s space-rockers Hawkwind will also be performing at the three day festival as part of their 40th anniversary celebrations.
The theme for this year’s Standon Calling will be SPACE, with NASA camps, an intergalactic dressing up camp and Stranger Than Paradise’s ‘CCCP Cosmonaut Training Centre’ among the attractions.
Standon Calling is a non-profit festival in conjunction with the charity Phoenix Futures. All profits go to supporting victims of drug and alcohol abuse. For further information visit Standon-Calling.Com
